Dwarf Fortress Diaries

Previously on Dwarf Fortress...

I'm not particularly good at playing Dwarf Fortress.

To be fair, I haven't played it much at all, so I don't have a lot of experience keeping dwarves alive. Most of my losses have been self-inflicted. It's part of learning an incredibly complex game like Dwarf Fortress: you'll die, and you'll die a lot. The dwarves aren't known for their intelligence, either. They'll jump off a cliff while trying to dodge something if you let them.

To any experienced players: I'm so sorry for the frustration this is probably going to bring you. Obvious mistakes are obvious!

Every single fort I've lost before starting this project

  • Picked a good site, embarked with plenty of supplies, dug out some nice rooms... and forgot to make a farm. Or a still. Or anything dwarves need to survive. Unsurprisingly, everyone died.
  • Picked a good site, embarked well, dug out rooms, and remembered to make a farm. Forgot to tell the dwarves to plant anything in that farm. Only realized this after making a still and finding there was nothing to brew. Everyone died while I tried to figure out how to plant plump helmets.
  • Embarked, dug rooms (and planned for future defense!), figured out how to plant crops, started waiting for a harvest of plump helmets... and then Urist McDwarfFace decided to duke it out in the river with a stray baboon. Urist died, half of the other dwarves also decided to try to murder the baboon, and the entire river was contaminated with blood and miasma. No one could drink it or go near it. Worse yet, I'd forgotten to bring brewing supplies, and the dwarves were running out of their meager alcohol stores. It would take too long for the farm to provide brewing material, so I ordered all dwarves to start digging in hopes of finding another water source. Everyone died of thirst while frantically digging for water.

I expect my next forts to end just as poorly.

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